It’s so weird to think,

this time last year, i was an absolute wreck. waking up to anxiety attacks, crying every other day, breaking innocent hearts in a vengeful wrath, and just so unbelievably discontent. my stress mainly stemmed from my workload at school (undergrad advertising is just as bad as real-world advertising, i don’t care what anyone says), but i also had that “stuck-in-a-rut” feeling, where no matter what happens, i’m still doing the same thing and getting no where. 

but i made it. i have a college degree, i’ve accomplished something significant, and what am i doing now? i’ve swept that degree under the rug, and i’m bartending for a living. slinging drinks to thirsty patrons whose “one more” is never enough. am i happy with that? fuck yes.

i used to have a t-shirt that had an illustration of a horse, rolling around on the ground, with type that read “Do what makes you happy.” i wish i still had that shirt. i’d rock it on a daily basis.

these days, everyone graduates from (or at least goes to) college. that’s not an accomplishment. packing up my life, starting everything all over again, in a new state, with new people, and a new outlook on life, is an accomplishment.

i’d also be totally content if i never get a “real job.” yeah, i’m qualified. but i don’t want to be miserable. i’ve yet to meet an ad professional who genuinely loves what they do. in that case, my mother probably wouldn’t be too happy (i know they planned on those tuition payments resulting in something), but i don’t care. 

i might open a dispensary (grandma would be so proud), run some sort of dive bar, do stand-up comedy, or just move to the mountains and be a ski instructor for the rest of my life (all-time dream job), etc. i’d be totally cool with any of those.

moral of the story: DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, PEOPLE. WHATEVER IT TAKES. i mean, i had to move 2,000 miles away from my bundle of chocolate lab love (as well as the human parts of my family); but the sacrifice was well worth it. 

so…. what am i doing with my life? exactly what i want to.